Handling Conflict - Within yourself & with those around you..
Does anyone else ever have those two or more voices speaking out against one another- all in your head?? I do believe some of the conflict we are facing on the planet today, originates with some of the conflict we experience within ourselves. Think about a situation where having a boundary could help you protect you but on the other hand, saying yes could lead to feeling good about helping another person. Which part of you wins?? How do you make that decision?
If you have ever taken the color code test you may have found that you test with a mixture of colors within your personality. This equates to a mixture of driving forces governing your decisions and your behaviors. The color combinations vary from person to person. I have a wonderful friend with a white/ yellow combination. White is peaceful and calming and yellow is fun and adventure. She is loved by all and so easy to be around because her driving energies complement each other.
On the other hand, I, personally, have red/blue/ & yellow energy forces which create a battle between what is the responsible thing to do (red) what is the helping thing to do (blue) and what is the fun thing to do (yellow). I feel the conflict between my energetic forces, and then I go out in the world and not only do I have different needs within me, I see and feel the needs of others and the world. Deciding my pathway can be trying at best. But remember this, even without taking a color code test, most of us have opposing thoughts and wishes that influence our daily activities.
If you are seeing this and it seems to resonate with you, my first recommendation to my readers is to work very hard at uncovering your truth. Your unique truth- which makes you all that you were meant to be in this lifetime. I have techniques to help with decisions and knowing your truth. One is- I will say out loud “Yes, I want to go to Spain (or any decision in front of you) or No I don’t want to go to Spain” I can hear the difference in my energy and my voice when I say things out loud. Or I will put my hand on my heart to hear my truth and say the options out loud to see how my heart feels. Studies have shown that the heart emits more energy than our brains, yet, we often make decisions based on what our heads tell us, instead of our hearts. Doing something out of desire is much more powerful than doing something out of fear. Our heads try to protect us, our hearts lead us towards our dreams and desires.
Conflict out in the world can be effectively dealt with by listening to others, putting ourselves in their shoes and by using unconditional love as a basis of understanding. We are not so different than one another. Focusing on differences, defending our positions or attacking another person never works. That is how wars start. We are at a place in history that we must learn to understand one another in order for life to continue on this planet. We can do this with practice.
In future blogs, we will discuss how to open our heart energy to be more accepting and to increase harmony within ourselves and with our relationships.
- Janet Whitney, MA, LMFT